


These Hearts They Race

by larrymylove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Captain Niall Horan, Detective Harry, Detective Louis, Detectives, M/M, Partners to Lovers, Pining, Police officers, Retirement, because of course, detective liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 04:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15502431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: “Come on, H. It’s not like you’re never going to see me again.”“You say that,” Harry stood from his desk, grabbing his coat off his chair, “But c’mon, Lou. You know as well as I do that working sex crimes…..there’s no life outside of this job. I’ll be busy, and you’ll be off living some grand adventure.”“Harry….”“I’m sorry, Lou. I-I have to go. I just….I can’t do this.”Harry shrugged his coat onto his shoulders and turned to leave. Part of him hoped, maybe even expected, Louis to follow him. It wasn’t until he was out in the cold November night, that Harry realized that he was absolutely alone.After over two decades on the force, and twenty years as Harry's partner, Louis is retiring.





	These Hearts They Race

**Author's Note:**

> title from 'hands down' by dashboard confessional.

When Harry Styles’ alarm went off at exactly 4:45am, he prayed it was just a bad dream. He knew better though, knew what today was, and sighed before heaving himself out of bed. It wasn’t that he hated his job, though some days it was hard not to; but it was his partner Louis who had gotten him through those days. _Always Louis_ , ever since Harry had joined the force as a young, wide-eyed rookie, ready to bring about justice and change the world for the greater good within the sex crimes division of NYPD. He’d been partnered up with Louis Tomlinson on his first day, and the two had been partners ever since. Twenty years of partnership, to be exact. Twenty years of barely any sleep, late nights, early mornings. Twenty years of coffee and cigarettes to get through the day. Twenty years of working sex crimes and seeing things Harry thought only existed in nightmares. Twenty years of helping one another, of being there for each other to lean on. Louis was older, and had worked sex crimes a few years before Harry had joined on. It wasn’t that Louis was jaded, or even used to what they saw ( _how could anyone be_ ), but he knew how to handle things, and was quick to teach Harry his coping tactics, was quick to make him smile when he needed it, or leave him alone when he needed that as well.

And now, after twenty years, it was Louis’ last day.

Harry had been dreading this day ever since Louis had first talked about retirement. He knew it was in the future, but it always had seemed like some far-off thing that they’d face together. He never expected for Louis to just announce one day that he’d be putting in his notice. Harry couldn’t blame him though. Louis had been a great cop, knew how to hold his head high and how to work with the victims with patience and understanding. He kept everything together, and Harry knew it was starting to weigh on him slightly. He understood retirement. Hell, he more than understood retirement.

He just hadn’t thought retirement would come _today_.

Harry stumbled into the small phone booth of a shower, squirting some Sauve soap into his hands before lathering himself, working through the motions of his morning routine as if it were any other morning. _Shower, dress, toast, make two coffees, go pick up Louis, and drive to work together._ It had been routine since the first few months of Harry joining the force, back when he was still this wide-eyed kid with dreams of finding love one day, and having a family. All of that had fallen away in favor of his career though. He could barely remember to feed himself - resorting in Louis tossing a paper sack of burgers and fries on his desk on more than one occasion - because of this job, how could he ever find the time - or energy - to settle down. There were just…..other priorities.

It was sickly humorous that in the end, Louis had become the closest thing to a real partner that Harry had had in his life. They’d even joked about it on more than one occasion, Harry feeling something twist sourly in his stomach in spite of his laughter, wondering if Louis maybe felt it too. It was no secret - at least not to Harry - that he was in love with his partner, and had been pretty much from the go. But in twenty years, nothing had happened. Harry knew realistically that it could never work, but there was still that constant ache when he was around Louis; the constant longing he had to fight to _not_ reach out and touch Louis’ arm or brush back the stray bit of fringe that would fall into his eye, or press his lips to the constellation of freckles on Louis’ cheek.

And now, Louis was leaving. Harry was losing the one thing that really kept him together in this job; the person who he could be completely open and honest with; the person that made life in general not only just simply bearable, but an adventure. Without him, Harry didn’t know what to do.

He finished his shower and dried off, quickly blow drying his hair before dressing and preparing two coffees - Louis’ black, Harry’s with powdered vanilla latte and sweet cream creamer. He stirred his coffee, before placing the lids on them tightly and fondly - sadly - shaking his head. This was the last time he’d get to do this, and he wanted to treasure it. Treasure the way Louis’ face would light up when he saw Harry with two coffees in his hand, in spite of the fact that Harry did so every morning; treasure the way he’d tease him for taking his far too sweet, too sugary. Harry loved it. Loved every bit of their little routine together.

Shrugging on his gray coat, he felt the knife twist in his stomach. They wouldn’t have any more routines together. This would be it. And sure, they’d say they’d still see each other around, but would they really? Louis would probably move away, out of the city and closer to his sisters and their children. And Harry would be busy with work, with a new partner who would be a constant reminder of who they weren’t. Harry felt sick.

He piled into his car and headed towards Louis’ apartment for the last time. Louis was stepping outside when Harry pulled up, wrapping his coat a little tighter around him from the cool morning breeze. Harry pulled up to the curb, parked, and held up Louis’ coffee. Louis’ face brightened like the sun as he slid inside, taking the cup from Harry’s hand and closing the door.

“Hiya, Haz,” he took a sip of his coffee, “Perfect! Whatever am I going to do without my daily coffees from you?” He took another sip and Harry squeezed his eyes shut before blinking and heading towards the station house. Louis seemed so casual, so unaffected by all of this. Inside, Harry felt as though he were dying. Why was Louis so casual? Didn’t he care? How could he not care? Harry was almost certain his feelings were one-sided, but _this_? This was almost too much to bear. Even if Louis didn’t have those feelings for him, they were at the very least friends. Would he even miss him at all?

“Gonna have to start learning to make it yourself.”

“Psh,” Louis shoved at Harry’s shoulder, “I know how to make fucking coffee, Haz. But I like it better when you make it for me.”

Harry wasn’t sure he was going to make it through the day.

Harry made it through the day, if only by some miracle. They had wrapped up a case and Louis was bragging that it was the perfect ending to it all. Harry tried to fight back the nausea, but couldn’t. He felt shaky, and tried to blame it on the cigarettes he’d chain-smoked earlier, anything to try to soothe himself. He was an absolute wreck, and Louis? Louis was off to the side, sitting on Detective Payne’s desk and giggling.

“Alright everyone!” Captain Horan clapped his hands together, drawing everyone’s attention, “We have a bit of a send-off to do, don’t we? Detective Tomlinson, it has been an honor to call you a colleague, a brother, a friend. We are all going to miss you so, so much. But enough sappy shit! There’s cake in the breakroom and afterwards, I’m taking everyone out for a round on me!"

There was cheering and clapping and someone was slapping Louis on the back as the other detectives followed Captain Horan into the breakroom. Harry stayed at his desk a moment before gathering up the courage to go join them. This was really it. This was Louis’ send off. Harry wasn’t sure he could face it. He knew there was no way he could face going on for drinks with everyone.

Suddenly, a body plopped down on his desk. Harry glanced up to see Louis sitting there, shoveling cake into his mouth.

“You’re missing out, Haz. ‘s good.”

“I’m fine,” Harry mumbled, knowing he was being a bit of a downer, but how could he not be under the circumstances?

“Come on, H. It’s not like you’re never going to see me again.”

“You say that,” Harry stood from his desk, grabbing his coat off his chair, “But c’mon, Lou. You know as well as I do that working sex crimes…..there’s no life outside of this job. I’ll be busy, and you’ll be off living some grand adventure.”

“Harry….”

“I’m sorry, Lou. I-I have to go. I just….I can’t do this.”

Harry shrugged his coat onto his shoulders and turned to leave. Part of him hoped, maybe even expected, Louis to follow him. It wasn’t until he was out in the cold November night, that Harry realized that he was absolutely alone. He could hear laughter from inside the station house. Louis’ send-off was going well. Harry felt a pang of guilt for just leaving, but there was no way he could make himself sit through cake and beers while everyone swapped stories and memories of the last twenty years. It felt like an intrusion. Those were Harry’s memories with Louis, and he didn’t want to share them.

He climbed into his car and headed towards his apartment. The whole day felt like a dream, like he would just wake up tomorrow and make two coffees and pick up Louis and they'd drive together to work, and everything would be normal. It hadn't even been more than a few minutes, and Harry already felt as though something was missing inside of him. 

Once inside his apartment, he stripped out of his coat and slumped onto the couch. He didn’t care if he wasn’t being the most mature. He was losing his partner, his best friend. It was too much to even bear and Harry wondered just how much more his heart could take.

Twenty years just gone.

A knock on his door pulled Harry from his thoughts. It took him a moment after answering to register that it was Louis standing there on his stoop, hands shoved into his coat pocket, nose and cheeks kissed red from the cold, his coat speckled in snow.

“Hiya,” Louis pulled a hand from his coat and gave a little wave.

“L-lou?”

“Told you you’d see me again!”

“Wh….what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at your send-off?” Harry felt his brows pull together. His brain was still struggling to compute this. Louis was at his door. Louis was at his door in the cold. He glanced past Louis, expecting to see a cab. Had Louis walked here?

Louis shrugged, “Stuck around for the cake, but told them to nix the beers. It wouldn’t have been any fun without you there anyway.”

Harry frowned, “Lou, I’m sorry I left, it’s just….”

“Hey!” Louis interrupted, voice bright and sunshine “I’m starving. You hungry?”

“Wh….what?”

Louis sighed with a dramatic roll of his eyes and a slow grin spreading across his face, “I _said_ , you hungry? I’m starving. So what do you say? You up for some pizza?”

Harry didn't even try to fight the smile that spread across his face as he reached behind him for his coat, “Pizza would be good, yeah.”

“Awesome.”

Louis waited for Harry to lock the door behind him before looping his arm through his, “I mean, as delicious as it is, cake is just _not_ a balanced dinner, Styles.”

“Besides,” Louis continued, “Did you _really_ think you could get rid of me that easily?”

Harry giggled, pressing against Louis’ side.

Louis pressed back.

△

Louis finished off his cake, making sure to bop some icing on Detective Payne’s nose and smack an obnoxious kiss to Captain Horan’s cheek. The send-off had been lovely, really; but Louis couldn’t bear the thought of going out for beers without Harry being there with them. He’d thanked Captain Horan and shook his hand, promising to keep in touch, before walking towards Harry’s apartment. It was a bit of a distance, and the November night was chilly, but it gave Louis some time with his thoughts.

From the moment he’d laid eyes on Harry Styles, he had been completely and utterly head over heels. But he’d known better than to try to pursue anything with the sweet, young detective. So he’d kept his distance, put his feelings to the back burner - anything to keep IA off their backs and giving them any kind of bullshit. Anything to keep IA from giving _Harry_ any kind of bullshit.

In the last twenty years, Harry had become Louis’ family. He was not only his partner under the shield, but somewhere along the way, he’d become his partner in almost every definition of the term.

Louis shoved his hands into his pockets as he turned onto Harry’s street.

One day, he was going to make it official; one day, he was going to make Harry _officially_ his partner by _every_ definition of the term. And one day, he was going to make him his husband, and they would adopt a kid or two, move out of the damn city and into the suburbs. He was going to give Harry that house with the picket fence he knew he dreamed of, the one with the swingset out back for the kids to play. He was going to put a ring on that finger, all his fingers if he could. He was going to make Harry his partner for life one day.

But for now - Louis stepped up to Harry’s porch, taking a breath - pizza.

 


End file.
